Michael Daly CJ Blog

A Companion of Jesus

My Journey out of the institutional Church.

As I look back through my journals and more recently through my blog, I find I have been (and still am) on a journey. It has been wild and at times shattering. In the last five years I have found myself broken, smashed to pieces and yet healed…made whole….being made whole! I don’t understand the raging storm which has at time terrified me, as I fought the relentlessness of its unyielding power, whose waves tore away (and continue to tear) every last vestige of safety from me.

I can look back now and laugh at the wonder of the raging God who loves me with such fury that He will do everything to deliver me and comfort me, because He is Love and only in Him do I find my true self.

I have lived too long in a religious straight jacket, wrestling to be somebody I was not. Trying to please others, trying to appease a god who was a despot and far away, who said he loved but would condemn me to hell fire and torment, should I not come up to the mark. I have found a strange fire in the institution of the Church which has locked me up with its religious observance and bound me in chains of guilt. I have struggled with being obedient to its standards and its god. I have lived in fear, under fear. Fear of failing, of not reaching the perfection which the institutional Church paraded in front of me. But at last I am glimpsing that I am the Church, along with all believers and that we journey together. This is no institution, no denomination. There are no chains apart from the chain of love which binds us together.

The institutional church, has walls, and these divide.
The Church I journey with, has no walls and unites.
The institutional church, has a plethora of laws which you must adhere to.
The Church I journey with, loves.
The institutional church, demands submission and makes captives.
The Church I journey with, releases captives and sets the prisoner free.
The institutional Church, tells you “you should”.
The Church I journey with, invites.
The institutional church lives in buildings and loves mega numbers.
The Church I journey with, has no walls and is happy when two or three gather together.
The institutional church, has a hierarchy.
In the Church I journey with, all are equal.
The institutional church, seeks and delights in earthly power.
The Church I journey with, serves.
The institutional church, takes.
The Church I journey with, gives.

I am tired of the institutional church and I am tired (ANGRY) of allowing myself to be moulded and abused by its systems and its manipulative games.

I am crossing over to the promised land and I fear no giants!

Michael Daly
Living loved
5th March 2010

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March 5, 2010 - Posted by | Thoughts

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